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17
Вицеви - Vicevi (Fun)
Posted 5 years ago by
Mahinalno    
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Ео мало и вицева у ове суморне дане ...

Ухвате домородци Србина, Хрвата и Босанца па им кажу да нацртају неку пјесму, али ако домородци погоде, убит ће их, а ако не погоде, пустит ће их. Иде први Србин, нацрта ријеку и много људи који иду к ријеци...
Ови погоде да је то Марш на Дрину и убију Србина. Дође Хрват и нацрта гроб како из њега излази човјек. Домородци опет погоде: Устани бане и убију Хрвата. Иде Босанац, нацрта дрво без лишћа и испод човјек маструбира. Домородци се већ предали, никако да погоде па кажу нека им каже Босанац која је пјесма, а он одговори:
- Јесен стиже, ја се не ожени!


Отишао Мило Ђукановић у посјету Кини па након службених разговора крену на вечеру.
- Колико вас има у Црној Гори? - упита домаћин.
- Око шест стотина хиљада. - рече Мило.
- Па што ми раније ниси рекао да вас све позовем на вечеру.


Вратио се Црногорац из првог балканског рата. Засук'о брчине, за појасом сабље и кубуре, а на прсима ордење. Скупило се село око њега и траже да им прича како је било у рату.
- Бијасмо ми на је'ну ћуку, нас стотину сивих соколова и наваљоше Турци, њи' три, четири 'иљаде кукавна им мајка. Одбисмо ми један јуриш, одбисмо и други, па трећи. Кад наваљоше и четврти пут, видјасмо ми да нема више муниције. Но нема друге да исукашмо свијетле сабље и јурнусмо ми на њи'. Кад налетио ја на једног Турчина и зама'ну једампу' одсијеко' му једну руку, зам'ну други пут, одсјеко' му другу руку, трећи пут једну ногу и четврти другу ногу.
- А шта му би' с главом? - упита једно дијете.
- А с главом? Па главу му је не'ко други прије одсјек'о.








Eo malo i viceva u ove sumorne dane ...

Uhvate domorodci Srbina, Hrvata i Bosanca pa im kažu da nacrtaju neku pjesmu, ali ako domorodci pogode, ubit će ih, a ako ne pogode, pustit će ih. Ide prvi Srbin, nacrta rijeku i mnogo ljudi koji idu k rijeci...
Ovi pogode da je to Marš na Drinu i ubiju Srbina. Dođe Hrvat i nacrta grob kako iz njega izlazi čovjek. Domorodci opet pogode: Ustani bane i ubiju Hrvata. Ide Bosanac, nacrta drvo bez lišća i ispod čovjek mastrubira. Domorodci se već predali, nikako da pogode pa kažu neka im kaže Bosanac koja je pjesma, a on odgovori:
- Jesen stiže, ja se ne oženi!


Otišao Milo Đukanović u posjetu Kini pa nakon službenih razgovora krenu na večeru.
- Koliko vas ima u Crnoj Gori? - upita domaćin.
- Oko šest stotina hiljada. - reče Milo.
- Pa što mi ranije nisi rekao da vas sve pozovem na večeru.


Vratio se Crnogorac iz prvog balkanskog rata. Zasuk'o brčine, za pojasom sablje i kubure, a na prsima ordenje. Skupilo se selo oko njega i traže da im priča kako je bilo u ratu.
- Bijasmo mi na je'nu ćuku, nas stotinu sivih sokolova i navaljoše Turci, nji' tri, četiri 'iljade kukavna im majka. Odbismo mi jedan juriš, odbismo i drugi, pa treći. Kad navaljoše i četvrti put, vidjasmo mi da nema više municije. No nema druge da isukašmo svijetle sablje i jurnusmo mi na nji'. Kad naletio ja na jednog Turčina i zama'nu jedampu' odsijeko' mu jednu ruku, zam'nu drugi put, odsjeko' mu drugu ruku, treći put jednu nogu i četvrti drugu nogu.
- A šta mu bi' s glavom? - upita jedno dijete.
- A s glavom? Pa glavu mu je ne'ko drugi prije odsjek'o.






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About the game:


USA as a world power? In E-Sim it is possible!

In E-Sim we have a huge, living world, which is a mirror copy of the Earth. Well, maybe not completely mirrored, because the balance of power in this virtual world looks a bit different than in real life. In E-Sim, USA does not have to be a world superpower, It can be efficiently managed as a much smaller country that has entrepreneurial citizens that support it's foundation. Everything depends on the players themselves and how they decide to shape the political map of the game.

Work for the good of your country and see it rise to an empire.

Activities in this game are divided into several modules. First is the economy as a citizen in a country of your choice you must work to earn money, which you will get to spend for example, on food or purchase of weapons which are critical for your progress as a fighter. You will work in either private companies which are owned by players or government companies which are owned by the state. After progressing in the game you will finally get the opportunity to set up your own business and hire other players. If it prospers, we can even change it into a joint-stock company and enter the stock market and get even more money in this way.


In E-Sim, international wars are nothing out of the ordinary.

"E-Sim is one of the most unique browser games out there"

Become an influential politician.

The second module is a politics. Just like in real life politics in E-Sim are an extremely powerful tool that can be used for your own purposes. From time to time there are elections in the game in which you will not only vote, but also have the ability to run for the head of the party you're in. You can also apply for congress, where once elected you will be given the right to vote on laws proposed by your fellow congress members or your president and propose laws yourself. Voting on laws is important for your country as it can shape the lives of those around you. You can also try to become the head of a given party, and even take part in presidential elections and decide on the shape of the foreign policy of a given state (for example, who to declare war on). Career in politics is obviously not easy and in order to succeed in it, you have to have a good plan and compete for the votes of voters.


You can go bankrupt or become a rich man while playing the stock market.

The international war.

The last and probably the most important module is military. In E-Sim, countries are constantly fighting each other for control over territories which in return grant them access to more valuable raw materials. For this purpose, they form alliances, they fight international wars, but they also have to deal with, for example, uprisings in conquered countries or civil wars, which may explode on their territory. You can also take part in these clashes, although you are also given the opportunity to lead a life as a pacifist who focuses on other activities in the game (for example, running a successful newspaper or selling products).


At the auction you can sell or buy your dream inventory.

E-Sim is a unique browser game. It's creators ensured realistic representation of the mechanisms present in the real world and gave all power to the players who shape the image of the virtual Earth according to their own. So come and join them and help your country achieve its full potential.


Invest, produce and sell - be an entrepreneur in E-Sim.


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